she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
