goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
