he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The uberlube is also flammable
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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