I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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