she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
