Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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