so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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