oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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