i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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