Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
