I smell stomach acid.
i will never coherently bang her
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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