he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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