He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
