i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
