Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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