I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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