Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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