We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
