Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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