why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I came so hard my ears popped.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
