Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize