you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
