the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We don't watch enough power rangers
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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