Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
