if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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