I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
