onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
