mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
