I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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