Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
