And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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