Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
