Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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