awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
