i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
