Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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