i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
