I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
