I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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