She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Randomize
