you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
