It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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