Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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