Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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