I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
