are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
