I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
