remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
