I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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