i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
