Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
