shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
