apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
