dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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