you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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