you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
